Seven Months Old + No More Pumping + CHRISTMAS!

Has it really been two months since I updated our blog?!?! Holy cow! Since then, we've had so many fun adventures and lots of updates to share. I don't even know where to begin! Try to stay with me as I try to organize my thoughts. :)

In late October, we went to visit my parents and brother in Orlando. Oh boy, what a trip that was! We had so many fun adventures-Islands of Adventure, Universal Studios, Kennedy Space Center, Sea World, and lots of time with family and friends! James was perfect on the airplane. Do we have a future pilot on our hands? Good thing both of his parents like flying. I see many more flights in his future.

On the way to FL, we took turns holding James. On the way back, the flight wasn't full so we put his carseat in our row...much much easier-and we didn't have to pay for a seat.

James and I by the seals and sea lions at Sea World. 

Having fun at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (i.e. the most amazing place on earth).

My family had our Christmas card pictures taken at this exact spot in Sea World a few times, so it was awesome to carry on that tradition with my happy little family!

We've also visited Nonnie and Grandpa's house a few times:

Grandpa and Brian both have a shirt that matches this little fleece jacket-so cute!

Our little man turned 6 months old on November 7:

Playing in the leaves at Colonial Williamsburg (we had to much fun with Brian and Katie!).

We've had some cuddle time.

And daddy has had some play time!

At his 6 month appointment in mid November, he weighed 18 pounds, 6 ounces, and was 27 inches long. I think. 27ish inches. Anyway, he was in the 50-60th percentiles for his weight, length (height?), and head circumference. All nice and healthy! Except for that cold he had. And the subsequent two colds he's has since then...but you know, minus that, he's healthy! I don't think he has his dad's crazy strong immune system. Dang. He seems to catch everything I catch.

James also had his first Thanksgiving on November 28. And, because we....well, because we have the sense of humor that's a bit off kilter, we dressed him up in a chicken suit (close enough to a turkey, right? it's poultry!) and put him on a platter. With potatoes. I promise he wasn't traumatized.

Needs a little bit more thyme. (HA! See what I did there?!)

See? I told you. He was happy. Confused, but happy. Which will probably sum up the next 18 years of his life. Confused as to why he got the "weird" parents. Sorry, kid. You're stuck.

On December 7, James turned 7 months old. WHAT?!?!?! I know. It's impossible, right? Ugh. He needs to stop growing up! He can still potty train himself though. That'd be fantastic.

Christmas pajamas! (Which, by the way, are size 18 months.)

He loves sitting up, rolling around, "walking" while we hold his hands, standing/leaning against things, and eating. He. LOVES. Eating. Probably his favorite thing to do. His bottom two teeth broke through the gum and are slowly working their way up. They're like little razor blades, so we don't let him chew on our fingers anymore. I think that's reasonable, but he doesn't. He loves his purees. He isn't a big fan of rice cereal, so we give him oatmeal and he likes that...but most of all when it's mixed in with fruits and veggies. We also give him rice puffs (like cheerios, but made of rice instead of oats) and he loves those. So does Sirius. I think about 10% of the puffs actually end up in his mouth, of which 10% end up in his belly. The rest...well, Sirius isn't complaining.

We got his first picture with Santa taken and he did great! He didn't cry. He didn't smile, but he didn't cry. I'd call that a success. A friend mentioned that Bass Pro Shops had a Christmas wonderland setup with a Santa, so I'm glad we checked that out! It was much less stressful to go there on a Monday night than a mall on a Saturday.

Note to self: next year, dress him in another color besides red.

We went to Busch Gardens Christmas Town with Brian and Katie this past weekend and had a blast! Lots of lights, a train ride, and hot chocolate. Mmmmmm! James "won" this penguin "all by himself" by picking up a plastic penguin out of a "river." Mad skillz. (I love how happy I look in this picture, and he's like, mom, I'm cold, and you need to stop taking pictures of me.)

We transitioned him into his crib, and he does great most nights. We are still swaddling him but leave one or both arms out. For some reason, he still likes his torso to be swaddled. This doesn't keep him from pretending he's a Cirque Du Soleil performer. He ends up in some very odd positions in the crib, which he usually can't get himself out of. If we put him in the rock n play to sleep, he can wiggle his way out of that. Whenever I get anxious about the fact that he's 7 months old and *still* likes to be swaddled, I remind myself that he won't be going to college in a swaddle.

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Michele's circus-themed baby shower was this past Saturday and it was a blast!! I wish I had thought to get my picture taken with the mom-to-be, but she was as lovely as ever. Can't wait to meet their little man! James and I spent the weekend at Nonnie and Grandpa's house and had lots of fun decorating, baking, and cooking with Aunt Kitty. Here's a few of my favorite pictures (you can see more that Katie posted on Pinterest  at http://www.pinterest.com/kmobri/circus-baby-shower/)

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On a more serious/emotional note, I've decided to stop exclusively pumping. As most of you know, I've been pumping since James was about a week old, and exclusively pumping since he was 6-8 weeks old (I don't remember the exact dates). We started pumping because we had latching issues and his reflux was better when drinking out of a bottle. For 4 months, I pumped 6-8 times a day. That's 4 hours a day. Of a pump. Hooked up to my boobs. I'm so glad I was able to provide milk for my child (although I'm not sure how many health benefits he gained from it, judging by his colds!). 

I don't think I would have been able to do that without a breast pump, or the support of my family and friends. (Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you out there!! You are the best.) There are still some people that don't understand why I've been pumping-why don't I just feed him from the breast? why don't I just give him formula? it's so natural, why is it so hard? But it was the choice that was best for James and I. And it's worked out very well! So, I went down to 6 pumps a day...then 5...and you get the idea. I've been doing this very slowly over the past 2 months. Because of my history, I have a higher risk of getting an infection again, so I've been going at a snail's pace. Now I'm down to 2 pumps a day. My supply was still decent, but I've been sick almost constantly the past 3 weeks. And not just cough cough sick, but 8-asthma-attacks-a-night, sinus-infection-with-a-fever-that-makes-me-want-to-die sick. My supply has plummeted. I mean, almost completely tanked. So, that is making my decision easier. I'm also taking more meds for asthma, and to keep my sickness at bay, like decongestants, which are making my supply go down. 

I've struggled with this for months now. At times I feel guilty. I feel selfish. I feel angry. I feel like a failure. My goal was to breastfeed James for 6 months. I have to remind myself that I have provided milk for my little boy for SEVEN MONTHS!! Seriously, any woman who breastfeeds at all-even just for 10 minutes-deserves a medal. It is hard. And it is complicated. And it is also very painful (or, it is for most, I should say). Breastfeeding is still painful and uncomfortable for me. When I see a woman breastfeeding her baby, I feel so proud of her. Society doesn't always support it, even though it's one of the most natural things in the world and is great for mom and baby.

This past year, I had a cesarean section, followed by complications from my c-section. I had post-partum depression. I got thrush. I got mastitis. I was hospitalized for said mastitis that didn't respond to antibiotics. That did not help my PPD, which led to therapy and more meds. I got thrush again. I went to countless doctors and four lactation consultants. I've pumped in my car, at theme parks, in bathrooms, in a mall, and at restaurants. No shame. Because it's all for James! But, baby boy is getting more mobile (not crawling yet, but rolling around everywhere) and is much more energetic. I don't have the time to sit down and pump during the day anymore. I would rather be reading, or playing, or going for a walk. So, part of this decision is selfish. But at the end of the day, it is up to Matt and I to decide what's best for our family. I don't judge other women for using formula, so why do I judge myself? We are our own worst critic. 

James is now getting 1/2 breast milk, 1/2 formula bottles, and he's happy with that. I have quite a bit frozen milk in the freezer (another benefit of pumping!), so he will continue to get the benefits of breast milk for at least another month or so. Even if I were to stop pumping when James was over a year old, I would still struggle with it. There will always always ALWAYS be mommy guilt. Am I doing what's best for my baby? Sometimes what's best for your baby must be balanced with what's best for you. So, yes. I think I am. I am in a good place physically (although there's room for improvement on that-one thing at a time!), mentally, and emotionally. I fall more in love with my son every day. It took me a while to get to this point, but it's a good place to be. And James seems to be a pretty happy little dude, so I think we're doing something right! :)

Merry Christmas, everyone! 

P.S. If you read this whole post, I wish I could give you a cookie, or a hug, or both. Thank you.